getting is just right

We’ve been reading a lot of classic old stories around our house lately. Rapunzel. Hansel and Gretel. Goldilocks and the Three Bears. I can really relate to Goldilocks—I like things to be just right. But it can sometimes seem hard to get there. Especially when you’re trying to get it all right in so many places at once. You hit a home run at work, but drive your toddler to tears; as soon as you’ve managed to convince said toddler that you are the funniest, most wonderful mamma in all the earth, you go and piss your husband right off.    

No one ever said family life was easy. But sometimes you get it just right.

Saturday was one of those kinds of days. We didn’t win the lottery, or accomplish much, really, but it was a nearly perfect day. In the morning, while Greta played in her toy kitchen, I made this baked oatmeal that had been calling to me for days. Delicious. Next, we pulled out the easel and paints, made a few dozen messes and changed our clothes at least twice--always a sign of fun being had. We laid on our bellies on a quilt in the sun eating our first ice cream cones of the season and making up silly songs.  We dug in the yard, planting a few things, pulled up some others. And just before we were about to call it quits for the day, we discovered a patch of wild onions in the back corner of the yard that we’d long overlooked. Jackpot. It was just the thing my random collection of dinner ingredients (black bass, two young eggplant, organic kumquats, the season’s first radishes) would need.

By 6 PM we were all covered head to toe in dirt, winded from moving soil and mulch and one tiny, energetic girl through the day. Everyone was suddenly starving, and needed fed, fast. That, my friends, is when you put your broiler and grill pan to work. Drizzle fat fillets of black bass with sea salt, freshly cracked pepper, and olive oil, then pop them in the oven to broil, while the same mixture (salt, pepper, olive oil) dresses thin slices of small, firm eggplant for cooking on the grill pan. It is the ultimate, ten-minute dinner. (If you happen to have some homemade green goddess dressing on hand in the fridge –thank you Real Simple test kitchen—even better. If not, see the recipe, below).

As it all came together on the plate, I started to have that buzzy, motivated feeling you get when you just came up with something really good. András poured us each our favorite Belgian beer, and we gathered at the table. And just when started to pick up our forks, Greta, sitting in her usual spot between us, reached for our hands and said, “Mamma, the prayer!” Oh yes, the prayer. She bowed her head and started, “dear Lord, thank you so much for everything. We’re grateful for our family. We’re grateful for … (something we couldn’t quite make out) and ice cream. Now eat. The end.”

This—parenting—trying to build a life that makes your child joyful, curious, and grateful—is working. And, after weeks of admittedly so-so I'm-too-tired-to-cook dinners, this dinner was working too. In fact it was just exactly right.

I’m not suggesting you go rooting around your backyard for wild onions. Or that you need kumquats or Belgian beer or ice cream cones on a quilt in the sunshine to make life feel swell (though all of the above are great places to start). Sometimes, though, you need a little inspiration—something that speaks to your soul. A bubble bath. A tickle fest with your toddler. Pizza and pink champagne with a good friend. Thirty minutes in the kitchen with a recipe you’ve been jonesing to try. A whole day with no plans or obligations, at all. And a really good dinner that takes almost no time at all to make, and leaves hardly a dirty dish behind.

That night, Greta actually went to bed without a fight. And though we were utterly, deliciously exhausted, András indulged me with a fire on what have been be our last cool night for a long while. I fell asleep to sounds of freshly split wood popping and crackling, my soul content. For one long, ordinary day, everything feels just right. 

~

*I was thinking about all this, and writing this post about our family dinner, when I read that my friend and fellow author, Shauna James Ahern was hosting a Family Dinner party online in honor of the launch of her new, beautiful book, Gluten-Free Girl Every Day. The opening lines of the book read like a glimpse into her lovely, loving and welcoming family life. Shauna, Danny and Lucy, this one's for you: our Saturday dinner, which just so happens to be naturally gluten-free. *


Roasted Black Bass with Radish, Green Onion and Citrus

serves 4

4 6-oz fillets black bass
2 tablespoons olive oil, plus for serving
coarse sea salt and freshly ground pepper
4 radishes, sliced
6 wild onions or small scallions
4 kumquats or 1 to 2 small pixies or clementines, thinly sliced

Preheat your broiler to high, on the convection broil setting if available. Drizzle the fish with the oil and season with salt and pepper. Spread out on a baking sheet and broil until golden brown and the fish is just cooked through, 6 to 10 minutes (depending on the thickness of your fish and the heat of your broiler), adding your onions to the pan in the last 2 minutes of cooking. Serve warm, topped with the radish, scallions and citrus. Drizzle with additional olive oil. 

~

Grilled Eggplant with Green Goddess Dressing and Pistachios 

serves 4

2 medium eggplant, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons olive oil
coarse sea salt and freshly ground pepper
1/3 cup loosely packed parsley 
1/4 cup chopped chives
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
1 teaspoon anchovy paste (optional)
1 small clove garlic
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/3 cup mayonnaise
Handful pistachios, roughly chopped

Preheat the grill or grill pan to medium-high. Drizzle or brush both sides of the eggplant with olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Grill until charred and just tender, 3 to 4 minutes per side. 

Meanwhile, combine the parsley, chives, lemon juice and zest, anchovy paste, garlic, Greek yogurt, and mayonnaise in a blender or food processor and pulse until smooth. 

Serve the eggplant topped with a bit of green goddess and pistachios. 

feeding the soul

Starting a new job is always hard. But I’ve sort of been through the ringer with this one. In the span of my first three months, I went through company layoffs, loosing two great editors and getting news that the company might sell. Then, Greta got an endless cough (file that under “no one sleeps”), pink eye, and stitches (note to your child’s nursery—do not hide Easter eggs anywhere near a wrought iron gate). Between that, a never ending winter and the crowded commute on the F train, my spirit was suffering a bit. Not serious suffering, like living through war and poverty suffering, but not its light and joyful self. 

It’s times like this I’m incredibly grateful for a good friend and her birthday—the perfect excuse to flee all responsibility for one uninterrupted hour (a near impossible find for two mothers) with her, a pizza and a glass of pink champagne. A whole hour of real (non-work-related) adult conversation? As she put it, “it’s the first time I’ve ever finished telling you a story without stopping every thirty seconds to say ‘here’s your grapes,’ ‘yes I can get your more milk,’ and ‘do you need to go potty?’” Mommies, I know you get this.

Besides the usual (how our husbands annoy us and are at the same time insanely amazing), here’s what I learned in that hour—that nothing, nothing can heal the spirit like face time with someone you love. File that under feeding the soul. And in the same file, goes cooking that baked oatmeal that’s been calling your name ever since you read about it on this blog post last week (from another new mommy who gets it—hey, in these circles, making baked oatmeal is a much bigger accomplishment than it sounds). When something, or someone is calling to you, listen. 

Here’s the thing—to be creative, you have to create. To dream, you to have time to close your eyes. To shine, you have to see the light. And to feed the soul, well, sometimes you need to bake oatmeal, or play hookie for an hour, or order champagne in the middle of the day. Trust me, everything and everyone around you will be better for it.

Baked Oatmeal with Caramelized Bananas, Vanilla and Hazelnuts

Adapted from Super Natural Every Day by Heidi Swanson (via Orangette by Molly Wizenberg)

Serves 6

Baked Oatmeal

½ cup hazelnuts (blanched or skins removed)

2 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

½ cup skin-on sliced almonds

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon sea salt

2 cups whole milk

1/3 cup pure maple syrup

1 large egg, beaten

3 tablespoons melted unsalted butter, cooled slightly

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

Roasted Bananas

2 tablespoons butter

2 tablespoons brown sugar

1 vanilla bean

2 bananas, halved lengthwise

Preheat the oven to 350°F.

Toast the nuts in the oven until lightly toasted and fragrant, 8 minutes. Remove and cool.

Meanwhile, stir together the oats, almonds, baking power, cinnamon and salt in a 2-quart baking dish.

Whisk together the milk, maple syrup, egg, half the butter and vanilla in a bowl or large liquid measuring cup. Pour evenly over the oats and stir lightly to make sure all the oats are evenly moistened. Drizzle the remaining butter over the top.

Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, or until the top is lightly golden and the oats have set.

While the oatmeal bakes, heat the butter, brown sugar and vanilla bean in a shallow pan. Add the bananas and cook over low heat until the bananas are golden and buttery, adding a splash of water as needed, about 5 minutes. Keep warm over very low heat.

Top the baked oatmeal with the bananas and the vanilla-brown sugar syrup. Serve warm.